Angry Sharks Are A-Swimmin'

Okay, I understand that in these times there is a group of people that are famous for being famous. You know, the Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, reality stars of the day. And, yes, I accept that while they are wildly famous (or just wildly annoying) they will also be whoring themselves out to every media outlet there is. However, it struck a major sensitive writing chord with me when I saw that Nicole Richie has published a book. A novel. She has not only published a novel, but her photo is on the front cover. And, no, it is not autobiographical. She probably doesn't even know what that means. The fact that Nicole Richie has a novel with her face on the cover in a tiara wasn't even what upset me. I wasn't upset until I read part of it online. This is how it starts:

"Chloe Parker would be a terrible role model if she were famous. Trouble is that she was about to be. It started innocently enough, or as innocent as you can get on the dance floor of one of the hottest clubs in L.A. The nightclubs of L.A. are like soap operas, except they're not Days of Our Lives; they're more like Passions -- crazy stuff happens, and no one bats a fake eyelash. There's always some bizarre drama that plays out every night, and everyone in the cast -- I mean, everyone -- is great looking, stoned, and/or drunk. It's like a traveling freak show that stars the youngest and hottest in Hollywood. It's about fun, and sex, and pseudo-danger."

I don't know why that makes me so mad. It wasn't the reference to Passions or fake eyelashes or even the use of "and/or" and drunk in the same sentence. Wait, I know why. Because this "novel" sounds as though it was written by a 6th grader! Yes, that makes me angry. Angry sharks are swimming in my head. The steam is blowing out of my ears. Just because Nicole Richie's dad was a Commodore and she was in rehab and was friends with Paris Hilton and burps on national TV and lost about 400 pounds all of the sudden makes her an author? And, seriously, could they not find a ghost writer that could do a better job than THAT? It may be a very nice, heartwarming saga, but I cannot get past the horrific writing.

Alright, my rant is over. I feel much better now.