What I have learned after 2 days of unemployment (the second time around)

• Talk shows aren't that good if you can watch them every day. Regis and Kelly are pretty annoying. Ellen is funny, but her show is pretty boring. The View is just plain gut wrenching, although it is fascinating to watch how Star Jones shrinks every day (I am not kidding), and Oprah is straight up pissing me off. I don't know what it is, but she is really bothering me.
• Tony Danza SHOULD NOT have a talk show. This goes along with the point above, but it is deserving of its own bullet point
• Ozzie has a special routine he follows every day. This definitely surprised me, but after careful observing, some bar graphs and hair samples I have found that he does the exact same thing every day. He wakes up, potties, eats, goes back to bed with me, gets let out to chase the squirrels, lays in guest bedroom upstairs, follows me downstairs for approximately 1.4 hours, takes a nap in the nursery on futon, comes back downstairs to wiggle and snarf to meet his father, eats, potties, sleeps on bed upstairs. Repeat.
• Don't ever watch the Discovery Health Network when you are pregnant. At first I was so excited that we had this channel (remember we don't have cable) because I couldn't watch anymore "Girls Next Door" or red carpet shows on E!, our only juicy channel. I got sucked into the educational programming, most of which include humans that are freaks of nature -- and I mean that literally, there was a show about circus freaks. It finally hit me that I will be in fact having a child of my own, and what if it was born like the bearded woman. Hey, it could happen. Then, they have all of these maternity shows like "Maternity Ward" (translation: the most complicated births in the history of the world) and "Runway Moms." "Runway Moms" isn't really that bad, but after some careful thinking, I realized that it is not healthy for me to be watching that either. I mean, come on, these pregnant ladies are models. MODELS. If anyone could see me now they would realize that I am the farthest away from being a model that I ever have been in my entire life. Their pregnancy weights are my pre-pregnancy weights. For real. And besides, I haven't seen an episode where a model has a normal birth or a normal child. There is always something wrong, and then they provide the statistics on the screen, just so I can tuck the information in the back of my head so I can worry about it every freaking DAY of my pregnancy. Bottom line, there is no need to worry about having a child with a brain that does not fit into its skull before you even have a baby at all.
• I love bread.
• My mommy always makes me feel better.
• Pop Tarts don't taste bad when you puke them up.

That is all I can think of right now. As you can see it has been a very productive two days in the Drlich household, and of course FUN FUN FUN. Tomorrow, I may venture into the outside world to interact with humans. Please let me know if you have any questions about day time television, for I have become an expert.