Industry of Cool

Lester Bangs once said, "The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool."

This is good for me, because I was just thinking about how uncool I really am. (I am not sure what my definition of cool is, but it is definitely somewhere between Fonzi and Led-Zeppelin). I was not always like this. I used to be very concerned about being cool. It all started probably around the age of 10 when I had my first boyfriend. He gave me a hair clip and a necklace with a crystal heart pendant and a cursive letter "B" on it. Oh yeah, I thought I was pretty cool.

I spent the next three years trying to increase my coolness. I think I peaked at the age of 13. Sure, I had braces, but I rocked them. My sports careers were flourishing. I was excelling at gymnastics, despite puberty rearing it's ugly head. I was City Champ in four events at the City Track Meet. FANtastic! And, I was drawing attention from boys at "public schools." I was so cool that the inevitable decline of cool was ahead of me -- freshman year.

The decline began. My braces weren't so spectacular anymore, and who knew that tie-dyed shirts weren't in fashion? I sure didn't. Then, the braces came off and my coolness level jumped up a few points. The problem with trying to be cool though, is that it is always a constant battle. I remember always being worried about what I was wearing, what I said in public, what I did at parties, and what I looked like in pictures. Exhausting!

After high school, I think I took a big nosedive in the coolness arena, but this time consciously. I welcomed the uncoolness. I wore my tie-dyes and sweatpants everywhere. I don't think I brushed my hair that much. I had autographs of Soliel Moon Fry and Mario Lopez on my dorm walls. College was the pinnacle of uncoolness, yet the greatest fun ever.

Then, I went through another period of pressure to be cool, in what I call my "quarter-life crisis." You are expected to grow up and find a job right away. Don't people understand that just the month before you were eating pizza on the floor with your friends at 2 in the morning?

I learned that it is not cool to drive a wood paneled mini van, you must brush your hair on a regular basis, business casual means something other than what is casual for YOU. All of the sudden my nails were looking shabby and I needed to have some new ones. What was happening to me?

Then, for some reason, I started to not care again. Maybe it is because I have been married and Jake and I spend too much time holed up in our house. (i.e. we don't get out much). I am very far away from my peak at age 13, and I really don't care.

Here are some uncool examples:

1) I still don't brush my hair very often. I am not sure if that is from sheer laziness or just a bad habit of never brushing my hair.
2) I like sci-fi. Yes, I watch Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Alias and Lost. Sue me.
3) I laugh really loud. So loud people will turn around and give me a look-loud. So loud my swim coach screamed, "Stop cackling like a hen!"
4) I like to wear sweatpants, t-shirts and warm socks that don't match. I have a lot of striped socks.
5) I have "Muppets Take Manhattan" on DVD and I have watched it. More than once. This year.
6) I love slideshows.
7) I like babies, puppies and hugs.
8) I trip over things and fall a lot.

I think I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. I feel a little better now that I have gotten it all out in the open. You know, I have no pressure to be cool on my blog. I guess my blog is my currency in this bankrupt world. I wonder if Lester Bangs would think I was cool?