Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins

I am definitely behaving like a cotton headed ninny muggins today. I am having a Bri Pity Party, and it all started off with coffee being spilled all over my white shirt, thus making me look (and feel) like white trash. There is just something about faded coffee stains all down the front of your shirt and sleeves that make you not feel so good about your person. But, I am trying to come out of the rut. Jake has been helping by telling me how Ozzie did five wind sprints this morning. He does this new thing when you open the back door to let him out, that mirrors that of a race horse in the Kentucky Derby. Maybe we can rig a little jockey on him and start timing him on his laps to the back of the fence. See, I knew he was athletic.

This weekend was fun. Jake and I seem to be waking up earlier and earlier every weekend, so now we have more time to sit around and watch TV. Sunday, while laying on the couch flipping between Star Wars and the 7th heaven Marathon, I came up with a fantastic idea. If I ever fall into a lot of money, I am going to make my own Cable Access show. Yes, like Wayne and Garth. It could be a poor man's Newlyweds like Nick and Jessica. We could hire a camera man (Bryan Ward) and he can follow us around all day. We could also get someone to be the voice for Ozzie's inner monologue, so he could be an integral part of the show. Just think of all the crazy hijinks we would get into. You would see Jake sleep walking in the middle of the night and eat a whole box of croutons. You will see me do a the weekly dance to the "Apprentice" theme song.

And, of course, you will see how we yell at each other every time we clean our house:

"Did you clean under the table?" Jake asks.
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss," Bri says.
"No you didn't! You are lying!" Jake exclaims, getting angry.
Bri giggles. (Cue laugh track). Meanwhile Ozzie cowers in the bathtub in fear of the ferocious vacuum cleaner.

End Scene.

I think it would be picked up by cable in no time.