To Abe and Sam

“Mama, what does inspired mean?" Abe asked this morning on the way to school.

I get these kind of questions all the time from Abe. Sam, on the other hand, just uses words inappropriately (and with air quotes)– he doesn’t wait to learn what a word means, he thinks he already knows and uses it.

“That kid in school was being awkward and it got him in trouble,” Sam will say, and then Abe, of course, will tell him he wasn’t using the word “awkward” right and explain to him what it means.

***

The posts to my children have taken a huge hiatus. For probably lots of different reasons. Being too busy. Being too tired. Not feeling like I could do a good job. Not feeling like I could catch up on all that I have missed.

A lot has changed in my life -- and in the boys’ lives -- in the last 2 years or so. Maybe I was afraid if I wrote it all down, it would seem like a lie. Like I was just painting a pretty picture, and not the real one.

But the truth is that even though things have been hard, they have been great (for lack of a better word?). They have been growing up into some pretty awesome kids. I may not have documented each month of new achievements or accomplishments, or sports or foods they have tried or whatever, but that’s probably okay.

 (And honestly, who am I really justifying any of this to by writing this in a blog that is for my own self and only 5 people read? I’m sure I’m justifying it to myself and that is okay.  It makes me feel better.)

***

Yesterday I got to spend most of my day with Abe and his class marching in a St. Patrick’s Day parade. I got to watch how he interacted with his friends and his teachers. I got to sit with him on the bus downtown and be his Buddy … and, he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind that his mom was there and she was wearing a shamrock sticker on her face, and that she put her arm around him on the bus, and probably sat a little too close.

When he was marching in the parade and got a little too far away from me, he would look behind, searching until he found me and smiled. When they threw candy to the kids, he grabbed extra and put it in his pocket “for Sam.”

***
It’s nice to get out of my life a little and see my kids in the real world. Perspective is what they call it I guess. I’m not sure if I am pulling a Sam right now and using that word incorrectly, but I will add some “air quotes” to it  to make it look like I know what I am talking about. 

I hope to be using this new found perspective (seemingly talked about non-stop on this once-a-month post blog) more, and writing more about my kids. How freaking awesome they are, but also about the weird shit they do, because there is plenty of that.

***
“Mama, what does inspired mean?”

You.“Sam.” This.