Mama vs. Abe

Lately, Abe and I have been a bit at odds. Our bickering usually takes place in the morning, when our normal, sunny dispositions are a bit groggy, cranky and not getting along with each other. I mean, I get it. No one likes to get up before the sun does, and I for one would love to sit around in my jammies watching cartoons, not to be bothered with petty things like breakfast and wearing pants.

So, almost instantly in the morning our battle of wits begins. Abe usually wanders into our room, towing his blankey and curls up in the spot that Jake had left in the bed. I am trying to ignore Sam's screeching and babbling in his crib, and try to urge Abe to go talk to his brother. Lately, Abe has just stayed in his spot in the bed, ignoring my requests. This annoys me. Go entertain your crazy brother! Go throw some books or toys in there! Make him laugh! Come on, man, it's too early for Mama to get up!

Begrudgingly, I manage to wake up and grab the crazy, little chubby baby out of the crib and we head downstairs. Now, I have posted before how my mornings are a little crazy. Thankfully, this year things have gotten a bit easier. However, my mornings are no walk in the park.

We have a usual routine of getting milk, getting breakfast, getting dressed, etc. etc. And, during the "getting dressed" part of the routine is the part that is causing all of the distress between Abe and I. Because, at 4 years old, I know he can get dressed by himself. I have SEEN him get dressed by himself. Yet, he acts as though I am trying to pull out his toenails one by one.

"Abe, come on. Put on your clothes."
Blanket chewing silence. (I have an entire sidebar planned for the blankey)
"Abe. Commmme. Onnnn. You are a big boy!"
Whines or groans of some sort.
"ABE!"
"MAMA! I AM SO COOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDD."

That seems to be his excuse for everything. Then he proceeds to slither off of his seat, eyes glued to the TV, blanket in the mouth, holding something (a book, a toy, a brochure). He basically acts more passive than a drugged up elephant.

So, I get angry. And frustrated. And, ask him what his problem is. And, why he can't get dressed like a big boy. The fight continues when it is time to put on our shoes. I usually try to wrangle Sam first, before he has started hanging off the treadmill, and after he has played a little tune at the piano. Sometimes this is a risk, because he decides to take a dip in Ozzie's water bowl. But, I have learned to deal with that. When it is Abe's turn it takes me multiple times to get him to sit down, and then instruct him to point his foot TOWARD ME. At this point tempers are flared and he will usually say something like, "I AM ANGRY AT YOU! YOU ARE A BAD MAMA!"

The next hurdle is getting him to leave his green blankey at home, because he does not take that to school.

(SIDEBAR: Okay, everyone knows about Abe's green blankey. It is pretty much like part of our family now. A stinky, green pet. At first we thought it was cute that he would carry around his blankey, and we knew it was something that made him feel secure. Then, he started chewing on his blankey, and while we had never seen that before, we just rolled with it. Well, fast forward 3 years later, and the kid still has it. I think I figured that eventually he would grow out of it, and it's not like he takes it to the grocery store with him. But, when he is at home and upset about something, it is his go-to. It is comforting to him. So, we were okay with it. That is until we went to the dentist and she was all, "Oh hells yes. Get that stanky blankey all up out of his mouth." Okay, she didn't say that. But she said that his teeth were moving from it. The poor guy will most likely have braces due to my wonky teeth that he inherited -- sorry bud -- but the blankey chewing is not helping. She suggested we just "give it away." Oh sure lady. I am pretty sure that he would not talk to us for about 5 years. So, anyway, crazy, neurotic me is now dealing with Abe's blankey dilemma.)

So, I tell him everyday, "Abe you cannot take that blankey." This morning he held his green blankey and said, "Hold on. I just need to smell it." Pause. "It smells SO good!" And then off he went into the car.

(Yeah, I know.)

Once they are locked and loaded in the car, I am usually feeling bad about my attitude and I am relieved to have made it this far. I have also had some swallows of coffee. So, I usual apologize to Abe for being upset with him. Now, at his mature age of four, he accepts my apology and apologizes to me for "yelling and crying at me." Sometimes he will even say, "I love you, Mama." I usually try to take advantage of our good talk and ask some more questions. But, usually he will get to his max, and say, "Can we stop talking now?"

Advantage, Abe.