The Adventures of an Ex-Athlete

It's not every day that you can say your muscle soreness is due from a particularly daunting battle of tug-o-war. In fact, it is something that I am not sure I ever want to say again. Last weekend I was hobbling around after competing in tug-of-war, a 5k run, a medley relay (with a baton and all), and an obstacle course. I mean, what was I thinking? I am certainly not a young spring chicken. My body enjoyed telling me that with every step for the next few days.

And, so, to continue this inhumane journey on my twice post-partum (and totally sexy) bod, my athletic pursuits continue into this weekend.

I am writing this on the eve of the 2010 University of Indianapolis (or UIndy as it is now called) Alumni swim meet. Yes, alumni (including me) are swimming in a "meet." I say, "meet" because my body will not be generating speeds fast enough to be considered anything more than lap swimming.

I have swam three times in the last ten years. Obviously, I am not doing this as any sort of athletic endeavor. I was having a conversation with my friend Stephanie about really injuring ourselves while going off the blocks. The thought never ocurred to me, and once my head went there, it continued to spiral into all of the other anxiety producing things I should be considering. Such as:

* Wearing a bathing suit in public
* Wearing a swim cap in public
* The possibility of not completing a 50 yard freestyle in under a minute
* What my body may look like while on the blocks in a "starting position"
* What my body may look like while diving into the water, off of the blocks
* What my body may look like while swimming
* What my face will look like after swimming

All of my anxiety aside, I am looking forward to hanging out with some old swimmers. And, it will be quite surreal being on the pool deck, ten years later. I will have to resist the urge to head over to the swimmer's house after the meet. Sure, my body doesn't look and work like it used to. But, really, it's not like I have been looking and working on it all that much anyways.

Let's just hope no one pulls a hammy.