Britney, Katie, and my pantless child

So, I guess my New Year’s Resolution #16 is not going so hot. But, I will not give up, the month is only halfway through. Who knows, maybe I will blog the heck out of this month. I am doing excellently on NYR #5 which is “go to bed earlier.” However, I sort of set myself up for success with adding the subtext of “record more shows.” Little did I know that recording shows on DVR would become my new hobby. Jake even mentioned how DVRing "Oprah" may cause our marriage to suffer.

However a NYR not on my long list was “stop paying attention to celebrity gossip.” I suppose I thought adding “read more books” and “more Jake and Bri time” (NYRs # 8 and #4 respectively) would lend themselves to deleting this horrible, dirty little habit of mine. However, I cannot turn away from the pantyless trainwreck that is Britney and the perfectly quaffed Katie Holmes. I am obsessed.

What I find to be most fascinating is the fact that these two women are surprisingly alike. Both are young, famous, mothers of questionable talent (or arguable … what a whippersnapper that Joey Potter was, and who can forget “Oops I did it Again.”) And, both are completely whacked out of their brains. However, while Britney looks like someone completely whacked out of her brain, Katie Holmes has never looked better. I wish I could take every single outfit she wears and her long elongated body . I find myself wanting to hate her new hair, yet I find myself thinking, “Hmmmm, that actually looks cute!” But, when she speaks of her “magical” child Suri, or paints her life to be some sort of jetsetting fairy tale where they frolic through parks in Berlin on Monday, then lunch with Armani on Tuesday,I tend to think she is hiding something.

Then, there is the whole Scientology phenomenon that I am completely intrigued by. What kind of person would actually believe that stuff? What is a matter with them?

So, until Britney escapes to wherever it is that she needs to go to disappear and work on her weave, or something worse happens to her (which I really hope does not happen), or Katie leaves Tom and writes a tell-all book about his shadiness, I cannot let go. Or, should I say, it will be difficult until then. Hopefully the subtext of my NYRs will serendipitously lend itself to bettering myself and therefore ridding myself of celebrity trash (yes, that’s right, I just used the word serendipitously.)

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Bri: (staring at son running around joyfully in only a diaper and a shirt) “Wow, Abe is like another boy once his pants came off.”
Jake: “Wouldn’t you be?”
Bri: (smile fades to puzzlement fades to surprise once realizing that husband is dead serious.)