The Christmas Twitch

(Yes, you read that right, I said ”Christmas” and not “Holiday.” Everyone can suck it. And while I’m on that subject, I have total respect for everyone’s traditions, religions, etc., but all of this PC-ness is really driving me crazy! No Christmas trees? No Christmas songs? No Christmas specials? Pretty soon they are going to bleep every time Charlie Brown says “Christmas” in “Charlie Brown’s Christmas” and it will turn into “Charlie Brown’s Non-denominational Festival of Holiday Lights” or some crap like that, because it will be too offensive for people. )

Gosh. I don’t know why I have a twitch. I haven’t been overreacting to anything.

Doth twitch hath returneth. Tis the season.

I knew it would be back again. That little son of a gun. Now, in honor of the Holiday Spirit, I am getting really angry and trying to will it away. Ain’t no twitch going to mess with me! Just to show it, I drink extra cups of coffee and try to get only three hours of sleep a night. It also pays to wait until the last minute to finish any Christmas shopping, or even better, take a toddler to a crowded shopping center with you, and force said toddler to stay in the little cart seat even though the toddler is screaming at pitches close to Mariah Carey’s falsetto, and has large streams of snot coming from the nose. And, who would have thought I used to say I would never let my child have a dirty face in public! FYI future moms of America it’s pretty close to impossible to keep the caked-on boogies and dried up milk off of the face.

Hopefully the Twitch will go away as soon as the Holiday Cheer subsides.