Fundamental Paradox

I am home from vacation. Those maybe the saddest words that there ever was. But, alas, vacation must come to an end, for it would not be a vacation. We had a very good time, and the weather gods listened to my pleas and it only rained one day. Everyone also made it home with all of their limbs, so I suppose we owe the shark gods a shout out as well.

As some of your already know, the vacation dynamic was a little different this year. We didn't have our normal slew of people with us, it was just the Mullally family plus one Courtney and one Bermes. Both girls did a very fine job of fitting into the Mullally family. The tried and true test is putting up with the gas, and well, if you can do that, you can do anything. Bermes had more expectations, she needed to be a sufficient replacement for Jake. I must say, she did a very good job. I would have enjoyed a little more tolerance with the reality TV shows (namely all of those on Bravo), but she made up for it with her preference for warm bedrooms and long walks on the beach. I am afraid however, that after the long trip we have meshed into the same person. On the way home when we drove past "Sheban Drive" we both busted out singing, "She ban, she ban!" William Hung style. Now that is creepy.

I am also very impressed at the way Courtney and Bermes put up with our family's affinity for games. Though I am known as "Monica from Friends" in some circles, I don't think that my competiveness quite rivals my brother's. The first night they played the game, "Shout at the Movies," it was Mom, Dad and Courtney against Robby. Robby beat them. He has a freakish knowledge of movie trivia (but, all of this will be better documented in a Robby Blog coming soon). Scattergories was also a very popular game this year at the beach, and I must say it was one of the highlights of the trip. I was also secretly glad that Jake wasn't there to play, because he hates the game and makes up answers just to piss me off, and then gives himself points even if everyone disagrees. It makes me pit out just thinking about.

Scattergories is one of my favorite games because I feel that it showcases everyone's creativity and own personal interests (also, I am very good at it, if I do say so myself). For example, when Bermes played with us we got a lot of specific medical terminology, such as "sphinctor" (she made sure we knew it was esophogial) for the letter "S" on "Part of the Body." It turns out my mom is a closet history buff, claiming Ethan Allen as a "Historical Figure" for the letter "E." Everyone argued with her saying that it is a furniture company, but she was adament about it. "Ethan Allen and the Rocky Mountain Boys were real," she said. The addidion of the "boys" didn't really help her credibility, but it turns out that Ethan Allen and the Green Mountain Boys are real and historical! However, she did have her fair share of Jillsy-isms. For the round of letter "K," subject of "Things you save up to buy" she put "Katherine Hepburn's autograph." She was dead serious.

We would have many "challenges" as the game called it. I am sure that when Parker Brothers designed the game they were envisioning challenges to be a very democratic, cival dispute of one's answers. I don't think screaming, name calling and sarcastic mimicking were what they had in mind, but that is how the Mullally family does things. The most heated "challenge" was on one of Robby's answer. The letter was "A" the topic was "Piece of Furniture." One by one people were getting weeded out ..., "no, ottoman is spelled with an "o" not an "a" ... etc. etc. Then, Robby busts out "arm rest." I mean, come on. He could have even said "arm chair," but he had to go with arm rest. Obviously, we vetoed his answer, and obviously he had to argue his point. After scrapping it out for awhile, we decided to do the obligatory thumbs up or down, and I'm pretty sure he was outnumbered unanimously (although, I think Bermes was avoiding eye contact with everyone at that point.)

In a normal family, that would be it. No point awarded, move on with the game. Not in my family. After the game had finished, Bermes and I headed down to bed when Courtney came in. She said that she thought she would hang out with us, because Robby was being stupid. What was he was doing you ask? He had locked her out of the room unless she said that an arm rest was a piece of furniture. Here's how it went:

"Robby, let me in the bedroom."
"Say that an arm rest is a piece of furniture."
"Robby, that is ridiculous"
"Say it."

I am not sure what happened after that because I was laughing so hard.

Later the next day, I was cleaning up the game and saw that someone had written on the top of the box, "Fundamental Paradox." I asked everyone if they knew what that meant. The next time I play Scattergories and it happens to come upon the the letter "F", topic "Games" I am definitely putting "Fundamental Paradox," and bracing for the challenge of my life.