A Formal Apology to My 8th Grade Class

It's a wild time around these parts. For readers from the future who do not remember this time of literal dumpster fire, we are living through a pandemic. Because of this said pandemic, my life has looked very different from my normal life for the last 6 months. I have spent a lot of time alone, and a lot of time "with my children." I am not sure why I put that in quotations, but "with my children" seems like it should be held to a different standard then just a casual, with my children. We are very much WITH EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME. 

But when I am not "with my children" I am working from home, which to all people who have never worked from home sounds like such a delicious treat. I, too, thought it would be a delicous treat, but I have found that it is just really more time for me to wear sweatpants, stare outside watching the many, many squirrels in my backyard, and overthink all the decisions I have ever made in my life. 

My latest regret was triggered by hearing the song Lean On Me by Club Nouveau (not the Bill Withers version.) 

The year was 1993. I was in 8th grade at Seton Catholic School with 18 other 8th graders (only 5 boys in the entire class). It was a very small class. Looking back, that is a very weird way to go through middle school. 

Every year our school did a "Spring Program" -- as you can imagine from such a small school (and class) these things were very awkward. Especially the older we got. We were basically forced by our teachers to sing some random song in our music book, aloud in the church to all of our parents who, let's face it, did not want to be there. 

So, after a very dismal performance in 7th grade to the song, Go My Son (I believe it had Native American roots, and the entire class mumble-sang the song. It was very embarassing for everyone involved), we decided that we were not going out like that. Something had to be done. 

This year, we were not only going to sing a cool song -- we were going to add ... CHOREOGRAPHY. And, that, my friends, is why I am apologizing. 

I am not sure who came up with the song choice, but we apparently all agreed that the song Lean on Me by Club Nouveau (again, I cannot stress enough that it was obviously not Bill Withers. This Lean on Me had a part in the song, "We be jammin, We be jammin." Just FYI) was the best way for us to express ourselves. But, we all knew singing was not our strong suit. However, DANCING. Dancing was going to be our new thing. 

So, thirteen year old, brace-faced me pitched to the 8th grade class the idea of incorproating a dance routine that I learned at gymnastics camp the year before. Surprisingly, THEY LOVED IT. (Although, looking back now, I am pretty sure I blocked out the naysayers). 

Because the dance that I learned at gymnastics camp was pretty short, we (maybe me - OMG I AM SO SORRY) decided that we would spend the rest of the time doing the Electric Slide. Because, obviously. 

Last but not least, we decided that we all needed to coordinate outfits, and landed on the sassy, yet sophisticated lewk of silk shirts and ties. Forcing probably everyone in the class to borrow one of their dad's ties, and pair it with a silk shirt (that everyone already owned because it was 1993). 

To Everyone In My 8th Grade Class: I AM SO SORRY. I do not understand how this even happened.