At first I was afraid, I was petrified …

I am happy to report, that I have survived one week by myself with my two boys. It may not seem like that big of deal, but I was very nervous about it. I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage keeping Abe entertained, fed, and going to the potty while pumping, feeding, and changing Sam every three hours. All on barely any sleep. Well, I was able to do it (mostly) and it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be.

I have to give most of my thanks to Jake, Abe, and Sam. All three of them have been very helpful in me keeping my sanity.

Jake has been a Super Dad. He comes home from work, and plays with Abe, cooks dinner and even feeds Sam. It is because of him that I am not starving and I am managing to take a shower every other day.

Abe has been the best brother ever. As you may have noticed, Abe’s monthly entry did not happen this month. I was going to write something later, but have decided to skip this month, due to the new addition to our family, my general decline of hygiene, and my intense sleep deprivation. (Don’t worry, it will resume for the month of May. )

However, I have to say that while he does have his normal 2 year-old moments he has really been sweet to Baby Sam. He loves to kiss him and give him toys. Abe also keeps me entertained and I have laughed so hard at his new dance moves, or the way he provides dialogue for his Thomas toys.

Every day, he asks me and Jake to play trains with him. So, we sit down and grab a train, but we have learned that we can’t be just any train. I always ask to be Emily, but Abe says, “How about you be the mail truck? Or, the freight car?” He never lets us be any of the “official” trains. Then, when we try to switch them out he says, “THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!” He is very particular when it comes to playing with trains. Jake always looks at me and says, “I just don’t know how to play trains with him.”

And, then there’s Sam. He is a good little baby that loves to eat. He eats like a maniac, and he really lets you know when he is hungry. If you do not satisfy his hunger within 30 seconds, he lets out a blood curdling scream that on a few occasions has caused Jake to ask me if I was cutting of one of his toes with a spoon. I am very much looking forward to when he sleeps longer than 3 hours at a time though. I am hoping that it will be before he turns 7.

Overall, I have had a sense of relief wash over me. When I was in the hospital about to go home with Sam, I looked at Jake and said, “Oh my God, what did we do?” I felt so overwhelmed. I was so exhausted from the labor, so stressed from breastfeeding and so worried about taking care of a new baby and a toddler, I just wanted to fast forward 6 months. You forget how scary the beginning is, with such a new little being that you need to take care of, and you feel pangs of longing for the life you had before and how “easy” it was.

But, day by day, things have gotten easier, and I have survived. I know that it will continue to get easier. The baby will grow more, sleep more. Jake will soon be home for the summer. I will soon be able to do things I used to do, like wear normal clothes and do cartwheels.

So, until then, I am just going to be surviving and counting my blessings, because I know I have a lot of them. I will let you know when I am able to do a cartwheel.