Ozzie's House of Dance is on a two hour delay

The snow has arrived, and my fear of a loved one being dead in a ditch has come with it.

Everytime the weather gets bad I always wonder why Jake does not have a cell phone. I also get very sick of answering the question, "Why doesn't Jake have a cell phone?" Well, the answer is that he hates technology, and he is standing up to the "man" (whoever this "man" may be) by not getting a cell phone. I think he figures it is his duty to all of the angry, bitter, black-sock- wearin' guys in bathrobes to prove that at there is at least one "soldier against technology and everything that is wrong with it" in the youth of America.

So, last night, after two hours of a no-show Jake I decide to burn off some nervous energy as well as give the snow gods a nice little push in the good karmic direction. I shoveled the driveway. After about 10 minutes I was sure that Jake would pull in and criticize my work, and then finish it up. But, no. Ten minutes went by, 20 minutes went by, 30 minutes went by. I hear sirens blaring in the distance. I see my white trash neighbors gleefully sledding down their driveway into the cul-de-sac. I call my mom.

"Mom, Jake isn't home yet, and I am really nervous."
"Rooooooooobbbb! Jake isn't home yet. (muffled noise of my dad talking) Don't worry Bri, the roads are bad and it will take him a long time."
"I know, but I am still really nervous. It has been over 2 hours!"
Silence. "Well, the snow really makes the Christmas decorations look pretty!"
"Thanks. That's exactly what I was thinking as I hear sirens and think of poor little Jakey in a ditch with no food, water or appropriate bathroom."

So I keep on shoveling. I shoveled the whole freakin' driveway. Then I shoveled the walkway and the front porch (in case of late night visitors). After all of my eager shoveling, and hopeful glances down the street, all I could do was wait on my couch and watch "Dr. 90210." Dr. Rey was just not comforting me very much so I called Bermes. I called Laurin. I called Brooke. I was about to call Robby, when Jake walks in the door! Hoorray!

"Did you see that I shoveled the driveway!" I exclaim proudly.
"Yes, that is very nice," Jake said.

Then he went outside and reshoveled it.

Jake's Deep Thought of the Day

Jake: "Ozzie really likes to lay on the bed and let his feet hang off the end. It's kind of like when little people sit on big toilets."

Me: "Do you mean little people as in midgets or little people as in children?"

Jake: "I just mean short people on big toilets. You know, like in Venture*. They had some big ass toilets."

*For non-Regioners, Venture is a store like K-mart. Apparently Jake spent a lot of time in the bathroom there when he was a shorter guy.