How Bri Is Not

I am in a bad mood, no, not mood -- funk. I know it's not a mood because it is not going away. A mood is something that passes over, and usually has an end in sight. I am having waves of being happy, but then I always get reminded about why I was in the funk in the first place.

So, I am trying to be conscious of things that are making me happy. So far chicken salad sandwiches, Jack Johnson and caramel apples are working, but how long will those last? I am sure after my 14th chicken salad sandwich it will become completely obvious to me that I am just hiding my emotions in their yummy goodness.

My coworkers and I have been finding great pleasure by unhealthfully devising plans on how we are going to "punish" the organization. That has been very satisfying. So far, we have planned to pick the most expensive restaurant for our "going away lunch" and to arrive there by limo. I have also entertained the idea of deleting the membership database with one mistaken tap of the keyboard. Of course we all know that I would never have the guts to do such a thing, and I am sure I will be very cooperative in the transition. Probably too cooperative. So many times I wish I could just scream, "I QUIT!," throw something, and then stomp out of there just for the pure adrenaline rush. Once again, I am sure that I would never do that. That is just how Bri is not. Bri can't be negative too long because it makes everyone uncomfortable. Bri has to smile constantly so everyone can be happy around her. Well, Bri wants to be angry. Bri wants to feel sorry for herself and throw things. Bri wants to stop talking in third person.

So, I am going to continue to eat my chicken salad sandwiches and listen to Jack Johnson songs, even if they do make me cry sometimes. Please be patient for the return of the more positive blogs. I am sure I will come around sooner or later. I always do.